Two Words That Make Most Audiences Cringe!

Okay. We are adults, right? Basically, we are comfortable with ourselves or we hide our insecurity appropriately or in a socially acceptable manner (drinking, smoking, etc.) right? Ummmm.

In transitioning from stand up comedian (who speak their minds) to a Toastmasters Humor Speaker in a contest, let me tell you what not to do.

There is a rule known in comedy circles, and actually any performance circle, called 'know your audience.' It is a good rule and one that will always help you craft your message to the correct demographic. Unless you are a smart aleck comedian.

I recently competed at the 'area' level in a Toastmasters Humorous contest. I scratched my way to this second level of five levels. Now, I knew who would comprise my audience. There would be basically conventional Toastmasters types that delight in stories about coffee, the dreams of a boy and a broken television and relatively safe stuff. Hey, let's just say totally safe material!

I knew this coming into the competition. I knew it after I heard the first humor contestant delight in 'why do women in SUV's drive with their cellphones attached to their heads.' I knew it from checking out the audience before the event. By the way, these are the lessons in this article: check out YOUR audience before the contest, mingle with them, and listen to the other speakers to see what the audience is going for, and hopefully these hints will guide your speaking efforts.

I know of these things, yet, I choose to blatantly ignore them for the sake of, one, stage time, and two because the words Penis and Vagina, of which everyone in the audience was in possession of, should not have made them cower or recoil. Which I believe some of them did! Apparently, those accouterments are not used very often...by some. (Another lesson, do not be mad or blame your audience for your performance!) (And, no, I'm not mad nor blaming them...I'm sorta making fun of them, I'm a comedian, remember!)

Which brings me to the last lesson. Do Not, I repeat DO NOT do what I did (you'd have to be really brave or crazy!) Do not use language that will turn some or most of the audience against you! Think through your speech! I made people feel uncomfortable...on purpose! I knew way ahead of time, that I would not nor could not win a Toastmasters humor contest...not with my mouth or my comedic past!

I even mentioned to the audience their discomfort in hearing those words within a speech. My speech BTW was not blue, laced with any expletives, nor did I mention anything graphic. I simply uttered 2 terms that tend to make adults feel like, 'No! She didn't say that! Oh, my God, I'm embarrassed! Now, John (?) knows I have one! Damn Her!" Or they were feeling something like that. I must also say that I am a registered nurse, so those terms, PENIS and VAGINA are part of my working vocabulary. Although, I must say that they are used in the nurses lounge more than in relation to patients!

If you've read my other articles, you know by now that I cannot count. So here is the other lesson that I took a 'hit for the team' in order to write this article (and get the precious, precious stage time!) At some point take the chance, take the risk and say what you want to say! Risk putting yourself out there. I am not talking racism or porn! I was not tarred and feathered. I am still alive. Some of the older ladies gave me a few looks. So what! Actually, a lot of the audience thought I was really funny (one guy stated that I could be a comedian!)

Which of course leads me to the final lesson. Please make sure the MC, or whomever introduces you, gives you the correct introduction! Immediately, after the 'comedian' comment from an fan, I thought, perhaps some of the audience would have accepted my material better, if they had known I was a stand up comedian and nurse from the beginning. I would have been given a bit more leeway in stating or being more blunt...not blue, not offensive, but directly stating certain words!

So those are the lessons I offer to you. Comments?

AUTHOR/SPEAKER, ADRIENNE ZURUB is a former cardiothoracic surgical nurse with over twenty-five years of experience on the open heart/heart transplant team at Cleveland Clinic. She is a CNOR (certified nurse operating room) She is The Nurse Whisperer!

She is an actor/poet/and stand up comedian. As a comedian she has performed in clubs in New York City and LA. In theater she has written and performed her solo performances pieces at Cleveland Public Theater. She performed at the historic Karamu Theater as part of Arenafest. She belongs to Toastmasters Club 6500, NSAOhio, AKA Sorority,Inc., and volunteers in the Greater Cleveland community as a speaker.

She is the Author of 'Notes From the Mothership ~ The Naked Invisibles' a nonfiction work that coalesces some of her experiences on the open heart team with the randiness of many aspects of her life! http://adriennezurub.typepad.com
Find her on: Twitter, Facebook, Livejournal, Ning.com, GoodReads, ...

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Which Piano Purchasing Option is Right For You?

There are many purchase options which include renting, borrowing, using one at a local school or college, or even just using the piano your teacher provides, which means not practicing. Renting may be the best option if you cannot afford monthly payments on a more expensive payment or come up with the full amount.

Renting an acoustic piano is possible for under $100 a month and may be the best route for starting the piano. Grand pianos can get more pricey at $200 a month or more, while a keyboard may be the cheapest option for purchase or renting.

Some of the benefits of renting include:

-Testing out the piano before making a large financial decision.
-No long term commitment.
-Allows for piano practicing when you're living in a location that you don't plan on being in for a long period. Thus avoiding shipping costs which can be substantial, especially if you're moving abroad.
-Provides a solution for concerts to be held almost anywhere and is a great option for teachers who want to get creative with their recitals.

Some of the negatives of renting include:

-The condition of the piano may not be the greatest as it most likely has been played by several other pianists in the past.
-The choices are fairly limited so color, brands, and model may not meet your specific requirements.
-Renting is simply a bad financial decision if done in the long term.

In order to purchase a decent piano you'll have to make a significant financial decision. However, there are many options for those who are looking to purchase a piano. Below are some of the options that you will encounter when purchasing a piano.

Cash

As the saying goes "cash is king." This as true with piano sales as any other example. If you have several grand available this may be an option you are considering. However, keep in mind that if you pay cash for any investment you are foregoing what else that money could be used for. For example if you purchase a piano for $10,000 you could've invested that money and if your return on it, if invested, was 10% you could've made $1,000. If you have it invested in a piano you are foregoing that option. Keep this in mind when looking at piano financing options. If you can get financing for a cheaper rate than you can get a return on your dollar it may be best not to pay cash.

Equity Loan

If you are a homeowner or have assets that allow for a personal guarantee you could get a personal loan. Personal loans are typically paid back over shorter time periods and have competitive rates. If you have substantial equity in your home and very limited cash, consider this option.

Credit Cards

Depending on the price of the piano and the credit limit you currently have you may consider purchasing a piano with your credit card. Some credit cards offer cash back on purchase so you may even be able to get a percentage or two back when purchasing the piano.

If you can handle making the monthly payments or even paying cash after the credit card payment this may be a viable option for you. However, be smart about adding more debt to your situation as credit card rates can often be quite high. Be certain that you will be able to pay off the credit card in a short time period before you use it to purchase a piano.

Store provided financing

Some piano stores offer special financing to customers to help them purchase their piano. This may include interest free loans for a certain time period or lower interest rates so that they make a sale. If you can get an interest free loan without pre-payment penalties this is probably the best option. The reason being is that you can invest the cash you have today to make money via interest or investment returns while your piano costs stay the same. At the end of the interest free period pay off the loan before you get hit with higher interest rates. This strategy requires foresight and good financial management, but it the smartest way of purchasing a piano and utilizing the time value of money principle.

No matter what financing source you choose, when it comes time to make the final purchase make sure you get EVERYTHING in writing. Some stores will quote you a price including freight and tuning whereas others will itemize each service. However, even if it?s quoted, make sure it is in writing so you have a verifiable contract to refer to if there are any issues arise. Also, this is a good time to re-check your warranty and make sure it is valid in the country you are purchasing your piano.

For more information regarding pianos including free piano sheet music and a free piano buyers guide please visit http://www.freepianostuff.com

Discover online piano course reviews in the Play Piano Guide.

Hiring a Quality Home Movers

Moving from one dwelling place to another is a normal scene in Singapore. A number of occupants are not home owners. They are just tenants. The reason is that owning a house is not easy especially for non Singaporean citizens who obviously make up the lion's share of Singapore's manpower. Thus housing service is mostly on a yearly contract basis.

Given this real scenario and considering the volatile behavior of the real estate market, the demand for home movers is high in Singapore. While there are many service providers, it pays to do your job in screening out the most dependable home movers particularly if you are short of cash. And the necessity to make a good choice is paramount if you would like proper care on the manner your stuff are transported.

The rate of home movers in Singapore can be quite expensive. It may turn out to be much more costly later if you happen to hire unskilled home movers who can only mess up with your priceless stuffs. Other companies engaged in this service because it is good money and those duly registered and professionaly trained to give moving service. You definitely opt to engage home movers who can offer the best rate and the best service possible.

If there is one good venue to locate these movers in Singapore, it is through the internet. Check on ebay Singapore. Search using the keyword "Singapore home movers" and you can most likely generate a good search list. What makes ebay a good source of info is that you can refer to testimonials of previous clients. Yes, while these feedbacks are not 100% reliable you can have at the minimum an idea on the kind of service.

Also, online forums which are Singapore based in nature can give you some guide on home movers. Just concentrate on heavy traffic blogs and forums. Of course, not missing out the classifieds. Home movers tend to post ads on online classifieds because ad posting here for free, if not at a very minimal rate.

With your filtered list, you expect to tap the most reliable home movers in town which will give lesser hassle house moving service for you.



We recommend this Singapore Movers

Online Stock Trading Strategies - Select the Right One

Stock markets are mercurial in nature and are highly sensitive to any happening in the world whether it relates to politics, religion, finance. So dealing in stock markets using productive online stock trading strategies is a must. These strategies allow traders to understand and analyse which stocks should be purchased and when they should be sold to protect their invested dollars.

There are innumerable online stock trading strategies in the market but some of them stand out from the rest. New traders are strictly advised to follow them to see the difference for themselves. Some of the basic ones include hedging, dogs of the Dow, buying on margin, and dollar cost and value averaging.

Hedging is useful for you when you aim to protect your capital. Hedging gives protection to your investment by minimising the risks involved in holding a specific stock. The risk that the stock price will come down can be set off by purchasing a put option that authorises you to sell the stock at a specific price within a certain time period. In case stock comes down, put option value will rise. If you want to hedge against market falls, selling financial futures such as the Standard & poor's (S&P) 500 futures can be the right option.

Dog of the Dow is also one of the online stock trading strategies wherein the concept is to purchase the best-value stocks in the Dow Industrial Average by selecting stocks that have the lowest P/E ratios and the highest dividend yields.

Buying on margin is one of the risk-prone online stock trading strategies, and it involves purchasing stocks with money lent out by stock brokers. The margin amount should be restricted to around 10% of your total account.

Dollar cost and value averaging strategy includes pooling in a fixed amount of dollars regularly such as buying shares of a mutual fund every month. This strategy can be used with a broader trading strategy to secure your investment fund growth.

This article written by David Jose is on online stock trading strategies David Jose has been a avert writer on various online trading communities. His work has been published in several places across the web. At present David Jose is contributing towards making MTP a well known and popular online trading community.

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Is That Real Camping?

This is one aspect of camping that generates no end of discussion - mostly how other people are doing it! The purists - backpack tent campers - look at the luxurious motorhomes and fifth-wheel trailers and say, "That is not REAL camping!"

For their part, the owners of the sumptious digs-on-wheels look out at the tiny tents and say, "Poor dears! It's too bad they can't afford to REALLY camp!" And so it goes, on and on.

Is there no middle ground? Is there such a thing as REAL camping? I know I will never be able to resolve this issue but, since I own this blog, I'll throw in my own two cents' worth.

First, I'll recount my own camping experience so you'll know I'm not really taking one side or the other out of ignorance. As you may know, I started camping courtesy of the United States Army. We shared two-man pup tents with air mattresses (on the ground) and individual sleeping bags. The temperature didn't matter! The Army is a 24/365 operation.

On a personal basis, while still in the Army, I started camping with tents that were a lot nicer than the Army version. Mine actually had floors in them! Woohoo! I thought it was pretty cool when I got a cot on which to lay my sleeping bag - no more sleeping on the hard, rocky ground.

There were no nice amenities like toilets, sinks or showers. I had to rely on the campground restrooms for that. I did have a small stove and a cooler cooled by bags of ice. Man, compared to living out in the field while on maneuvers, this was living!

I even went on a motorcycle tour once with several friends and spent the nights in campgrounds. We carried small tents, sleeping bags and camp stoves. We had a fantastic time.

Next came a pop-up tent camper. A lot of the amenities were the same but it was a lot easier to set up if you pulled in late. I still had to use the public restrooms but this trailer had lights and a table and places to sit. Wow!

My first travel trailer was not "self-contained." That meant I had to carry the waste water and the bottom half of the PortaPotti up to the restrooms for disposal. But! This one actually had a heater, a built-in stove and a gas/12-volt refrigerator. Boy, oh boy, I was moving up into the Big Time with this one!

Since that time, I and my family have enjoyed traveling and setting up in campgrounds with a variety of trailers, vans and motorhomes. Our current rig is a diesel pickup pulling a 31-foot travel trailer which has a large slide-out and is four-season capable. Of course, it's fully self-contained.

I have enjoyed every kind of camping I have done over the years (military bivouac excepted!). Of course, tent camping is more suited to warm weather but I have set up in cold or rainy weather, as well. If you're well prepared, you can make yourself quite comfortable, even with minimal equipment.

I believe "camping" is a much larger concept than tents vs. motorhomes. Once I leave home, I can go, pretty much, wherever I want. There are campgrounds all across the nation - even in places where hotels are scarce. A lot of the parks and other tourist locations have campgrounds nearby.

For one or more nights, I can rent my own, private campsite. Normal campground etiquette is that you don't make noise that disturbs your fellow campers between 10 p.m. and 6 a.m. It's just normal consideration of others that is expected of everyone.

Most campgrounds are located in areas away from noisy traffic and city pollution. If you're looking to relax in peaceful surroundings, a lot of campgrounds and very few hotels can meet that expectation.

Of course, one of the grandest things about camping is the camaraderie between campers. You can walk around the campground and people will greet you as you go by. If you see an interesting piece of equipment, you can stop and ask the owner about it. They'll most likely invite you to sit down and have a cup of coffee. Try that in a hotel! They'll be calling security on you in a heartbeat.

These things all apply no matter what kind of camping you do, no matter what kind of equipment you're using. Campers love being around other campers. Believe me, many of the motorhome owners started out in a tent, too!

The bottom line is that it's all camping. Enjoy whatever equipment you're using right now and don't worry about what you think someone else thinks about it. Don't be afraid to try different types of camping. You just might come to enjoy something you never thought you would.

That, too, is a fun part of camping. Just get out there and enjoy yourself.

Ed Hill was introduced to "camping" by the US Army nearly half a century ago. Since then, he has traveled across most of the United States and parts of Europe using a variety of tents and RV's. Ed is now sharing that love of RV travel in his blog, http://www.EnjoyRVTravel.com

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